Dear X

Presentation

For more…

Overview

Synopsis

Baek Ah Jin is a top actress who endured domestic violence as a kid. To survive, she learned to hide her emotions and manipulate others. She is normally kind to people, but she can also be cruel and devilish. Yoon Jun Seo has been by her side all her life and would do anything for her. But he’s struggling to support her choices.

My Opinion (No Spoiler)

I have mixed feelings about Dear X. For starters, the story is compelling and captivating. Baek Ah Jin is a fascinating character who walks a fine line between good and evil. Her upbringing and traumatic past make you want to empathize with her. But you also disagree with her actions that only hurt others. This complexity grabbed my attention and is also valid for other characters, especially Kim Jae Oh and Yun Jun Seo. These two, though motivated by different reasons, are faithfully devoted to Ah Jin and love her unconditionally. Though the psychology of characters is gripping, there’s however no real development. They remain the same from beginning to end, and never intend to change at all. This disappointed me a little, as I felt like the plot was staggering and repeating the same narrative. Moreover, I struggled to understand the main objective of the show. We witness Ah Jin’s rise to the top and downfall, but what for? Is the goal to punish her greed? Or on contrary, are all of these events a way to free her from her shackles? My theory is that Ah Jin’s actions deserve ‘divine punishment’ – considering the numerous religious references – and so life on Earth is actually her own Hell. However, the ending could suggest that she’s now free from that punishment. This confusion makes the finale unsatisfactory. It felt unfinished (if not sloppy), raised many questions and left too many doors open. Nevertheless, the acting performance helped me overlook all of these issues. Kim Yoo Jung was spectacular – she deserves an award! – and so emotionally invested. The supporting cast was also so good and in general the number of famous actors in this show is insane (Kim Young Dae, Kim Do Hoon, Kim Ji Hoon, Hwang In Yeop, Hong Jong Hyun…). In a nutshell, I think Dear X is worth watching, but don’t expect too much from the drama.

Analysis

• Baek Ah Jin, the fascinating sociopath
• Men
  Yoon Jun Seo, obsessed with saving her
  Kim Jae Oh, the feeling of being useful
  Baek Seon Gyu, the root of all evil
  Choi Jung Ho, the good Samaritan
  Heo In Gang, blinded by love
  Moon Do Hyuk, the psychopathic husband
• Women
  Jun Seo’s mother, the harassing stepmother
  Shim Sung Hee, the vengeful memory
  In Gang’s grandmother, the good parent
  Le Na, the jealous rival
• The religious theme
• Message of the drama
• Acting performance

Baek Ah Jin, the fascinating sociopath: Baek Ah Jin (Kim Yoo Jung) is a fascinating character whose complexity resides in her twisted psychology. On the outside, she seems kind, generous, and guiltless. Her beauty and charming personality enable her to play others. On the inside, Ah Jin is a true sociopath who hides her cruel nature. She prioritizes her interests over everything else. To achieve her goals, she deceives, manipulates, lies to and uses people, especially men, and doesn’t stop even if others get hurt in the process. This duality creates a mesmerizing character. While you strongly condemn her immoral actions and questionable behavior, you still feel deep empathy for her, rooted in three main reasons. First, Baek Ah Jin has had a traumatic childhood. Her mother was an alcoholic and her violent father ended up killing her. These events taught her a valuable lesson: get rid of people you don’t need in your life. That’s what she did by letting her mother die before her eyes and while growing up. Second, Ah Jin never attacks first in the drama. She’s often bullied or targeted, people are jealous of her and thus try to bring her down. So, she retaliates to defend herself. But her methods are brutal like with Shim Sung Hee or her father. Third, Baek Ah Jin is a pathetic (in the sense of ‘pathos’ aka you feel for her) and vulnerable villain. I think she wants to get to the top and become powerful enough, so that nobody can hurt her ever again. She has a revenge on life to take and even on God for making her go through all of these ordeals. From childhood to adulthood, Baek Ah Jin has not had a single moment of rest. She’s been fighting non-stop to survive and is somewhat tired of it. In the end, she just needs a place where she belongs and where people truly accept her for who she is. She almost got it with Heo In Gang and his family, but fate decided otherwise.

Men: All men in the drama are attracted to Baek Ah Jin. She has a magnetic power over them and can literally turn them into puppets. Men are also the reason why she grows successful. They are the rungs of the ladder she climbs. However, we can distinguish five distinct profiles: the guardian angel, the knight in shining armor, the good samaritan, the Prince Charming and the villains.

Yoon Jun Seo, obsessed with saving her: Yoon Jun Seo (Kim Young Dae) was once Ah Jin’s stepbrother. Although their parents’ relationship ended, their bond remained unbreakable after a traumatic event. As a child, Jun Seo witnessed his mother attempting to drown Ah Jin in the bathtub. Frozen and in shock, he failed to intervene. Since then, he’s felt guilty and liable towards Ah Jin. He blames himself for not reacting and believes his inaction is what twisted Ah Jin. He wants to repay his debt by saving Ah Jin from herself and making her ‘human’. That’s why he remains by her side through thick and thin. He is his accomplice, helper, partner in crime, the murder of her father if need be. Jun Seo believes in Ah Jin’s salvation and sacrifices his life for her. He could’ve become a great writer, formed new relationships or even cut ties with her entirely to start anew. But he can’t live without her. Ah Jin has too much power over him, though he’s conscious that she goes too far. She’s turned into a monster devouring everything and everyone. His only way to stop her at the end is to die with her. Unfortunately, Ah Jin survives the car accident, while Jun Seo passes away. He’s now free from his task, but has failed his divine calling. To me, Jun Seo felt like Ah Jin’s guardian angel, protecting her from others and, above all, herself. As for his mother, Jun Seo never forgave her for what she did. His death is his mother’s final punishment and fair repayment. She now has to live alone and carry the weight of guilt and grief.

Kim Jae Oh, the feeling of being useful: Kim Jae Oh (Kim Do Hoon) is Ah Jin’s sidekick. He would do anything to help her because she’s the only person that makes him feel useful. Like her, Jae Oh didn’t grow up in a safe environment. His father was an alcoholic who would beat his kids up when drunk. One day, he tried to kill Jae Oh’s younger brother because he was convinced his son was possessed by the devil. A fight exploded between Jae Oh and his father, leading the young man to stab his own parent. He went to juvie and his brother definitely cut ties with him. Upon his release, Jae Oh decides to go back to the only person who gave him a purpose: Baek Ah Jin. He helps her find information on her enemies, protects her from others and is literally at her beck and call. The difference between Jae Oh and Jun Seo is that the former embraces Ah Jin for who she is. He doesn’t want to save nor change her. He knows her defaults, but refuses to acknowledge her cruel nature. Reversely, Baek Ah Jin acts differently in Jae Oh’s presence. Even Jun Seo suggests that he may be the only one Ah Jin truly cares about. She’s not afraid to break down in tears, confess her inner feelings or show a more vulnerable side. Kim Jae Oh’s ending is in his image. He sacrifices himself for Ah Jin’s sake, after seeing how unhinged Moon Do Hyuk made her. If Jun Seo is a guardian angel, Jae Oh is clearly Ah Jin’s knight in shining armor willing to jump into danger to save her.

Baek Seon Gyu, the root of all evil: Ah Jin’s father, Baek Seon Gyu (Bae Soo Bin), is the reason why her life went astray. He’s a violent and greedy individual who didn’t hesitate to kill her mother once she became useless. He also treats women as tools for gaining power or wealth, hence his relationship with Jun Seo’s mother. Baek Seon Gyu has never acted as a parent – he never doted on his daughter, never showed her affection. He’s the true villain of the drama. To him, Baek Ah Jin is nothing more than a bank he can turn to whenever he’s broke. I think, Baek Seon Gyu played a major role in shaping Ah Jin’s twisted psychology. She was left to fend for herself as a kid and was taught that people are worth nothing. Only your own survival and interests matter. Every time, Ah Jin started to lift her head above the water, her devilish father dragged her back down. Notably, every major turning point in her life is linked to him. He first murdered Ah Jin’s mother in front of her, forcing his daughter into becoming an accomplice. He then introduced her to Jun Seo’s mother, an encounter that led to Ah Jin’s greatest life trauma. Eventually, she devises a plan to kill him. That’s when Ah Jin unleashes her murderous nature and steps onto a path from which there is no return. Considering how monstrous Baek Seon Gyu is, you can only empathize with Ah Jin. Honestly, I was relieved that she managed to murder him and get away with it. Had he lived, he would have remained an unbearable burden on her for the rest of her life.

Choi Jung Ho, the good Samaritan: Choi Jung Ho (Kim Ji Hoon) is a pitiful character. He is Ah Jin’s first boss, but also the sword who delivers her from the devil. Choi Jung Ho was a renowned baseball player-turned-coffee owner. He’s well-intended and extremely kind to people around him. He doesn’t stand injustice nor does he hesitate to jump in to the rescue. This good Samaritan is unfortunately played and deceived by Ah Jin. She uses him to kill her father and to escape punishment. Choi Jung Ho is sentenced to 10 years in prison. Though we could’ve expected a revenge story, Jung Ho remains true to his heart. On the one side, he forgives Ah Jin and actually pities her – she must’ve suffered greatly to end up scheming such a horrendous plan. On the other side, he knows that she’s being punished by life and so doesn’t want to get involved with her anymore. He would not survive another fight against her.

Heo In Gang, blinded by love: Heo In Gang (Hwang In Yeop) could’ve been a game-changer in Ah Jin’s life. At first, the rising actress sees the top star as a stepping stone for her career. She wants to use his popularity to reach the top. However, Heo In Gang is not an easy prey. His success and the pressure of being a celebrity took a toll on him; he takes a lot of medication and even thinks about retiring; and he’s also just broken up with another popular actress Le Na. So, he’s not interested in a new relationship. On top of that, he distrusts Ah Jin. To convince him, she gets close to his family, especially his grandmother, and confronts him. After that, Heo In Gang falls head over heels for Ah Jin. Their romance is bittersweet though. It’s heart-fluttering, but you can feel that the end is near. A year later, Heo In Gang firmly believes that Ah Jin is THE one. He wants to propose to her and retire. I almost thought that Ah Jin would change with Heo In Gang, as she was even delaying their break up. To me, she felt safe and comfortable, loved and protected with him and his family. She had finally found a place where she belonged. Unfortunately, her fairytale is brutally crushed when In Gang’s grandmother dies. She’s accused of her murder, In Gang falls into depression, she pushes him away, reveals her true intentions and he then commits suicide. From beginning to end, Heo In Gang has been blinded by his love and hope for a ‘normal’ life. He could’ve been Ah Jin’s Prince Charming, but he failed to live up to expectations.

Moon Do Hyuk, the psychopathic husband: After In Gang’s death, Baek Ah Jin’s life spirals down again. Her agency terminates her contract, rumors have it that she’s responsible for his passing and her career seems over. That’s when Moon Do Hyuk (Hong Jong Hyun) steps in. He is a powerful and wealthy CEO with an extended network. His obsession with Ah Jin began the moment he almost ran her over – and she didn’t even blink. Do Hyuk thinks he’s finally found a woman worthy of him, so he offers her a deal. He will give her everything she dreams of under the condition they get married. Ah Jin accepts, as this is her only way out. Little does she know that she’s just made a pact with the actual devil. Moon Do Hyuk is a psycho who watches her every move. He wants a doll, a puppet, a trophy, an obedient wife who’ll do as he says. To achieve his goal, he’s willing to drug Ah Jin and if she doesn’t comply, he’ll just lock her in a psychiatric ward like he did with his former wife. Moon Do Hyuk is Ah Jin’s final enemy, the second villain of her life.

Women: If men are easily deceived by Ah Jin, women are the complete opposite. They are generally envious, jealous and/or mean towards her. They either provoke or inflict pain to the actress. There’s only one good female figure in the show, but she’s no match for the others.

Jun Seo’s mother, the harassing stepmother: Jun Seo’s mother, Hwang Ji Sun (Kim Yu Mi), embodies greed. She engaged in an affair that resulted in her pregnancy, then falsely claimed her son was the rightful heir to the conglomerate group in order to secure the inheritance for herself. Her secret was always her greatest weakness. Unfortunately for her, the young Baek Ah Jin discovers the truth and threatens her with it. Panicked, Ji Sun attempts to drown Ah Jin which signs her downfall. This incident causes a fallout with her son who’s unable to forgive her. He tries to cut her out of his life, stays close to his grandfather and pushes her away whenever he can. However, Hwang Ji Sun is a tenacious woman. She may be cast out of the family, but regularly demands money. She even uses Ah Jin as leverage to reconnect with Jun Seo. In her mind, Ah Jin is responsible for everything that went wrong in her life. She blames her for her son’s coldness and for her own pitiful circumstances, relentlessly harassing her and being scornful toward her. I felt conflicted throughout the drama, as her vile actions never seemed to be properly punished. Worse, Jun Seo even saves her life by donating one of his kidneys. But it all changes at the end. Turns out Jun Seo had been quietly preparing his revenge against his mother. After his grandfather’s death, he inherits all of his fortune and supposedly rekindles his relationship with his mother. But Jun Seo kills himself in a car accident, leaving his mother all alone. To make matters even crueler, he ensures that all traces of himself – every photograph – are erased, as if he never existed at all. Hwang Ji Sun is now rich, but totally alone. Such is her true punishment, and one that feels fitting for all the pain she caused.

Shim Sung Hee, the vengeful memory: Shim Sung Hee (Kim Yi Kyeong) stands for anger and jealousy. Back in high school, Ah Jin was a top student, beloved by her peers, and quite popular among men, especially Jun Seo. Shim Sung Hee had a crush on him and couldn’t stand to see Ah Jin surpass her in quite everything. So, she tried to bring her down and turn the entire school against her. Her plan backfired and she was expelled, criticized and judged. Shim Sung Hee has then nurtured a profound hatred towards Ah Jin. She too considered her to be the main cause of her demise. At every occasion, Shim Sung Hee tried to take advantage of Ah Jin. She stole from her, spread rumors on the internet and even tried to kill her. Again, her unjustified revenge boomeranged in her face (like literally). In an attempt to stab Ah Jin in her own house, Sung Hee was disfigured, arrested and sent to a psychiatric hospital. Shim Sung Hee has not learned from her past and thus destroyed her future. In a way, her situation is quite similar to Choi Jung Ho’s. The only difference is that he forgave and forgot about Ah Jin, when Sung Hee refused to back down.

In Gang’s grandmother, the good parent: Heo In Gang’s grandmother (Park Seung Tae) is the only positive female figure in Ah Jin’s life. She’s also the best epitome of parenthood. She’s welcomed Ah Jin with open arms, loved her like a daughter, shielded her and made her feel safe. Even after the grandmother uncovers Ah Jin’s lies, she forgives her. The actress is stunned, because no one ever accepted her bad actions in the past. So, she’s ready to be cast out again. However, the grandmother emphasizes her love for her instead of rejecting her. She tells her that she’s one of her children and that family forgives. She shows warmth and is willing to brush away Ah Jin’s mistake. If Heo In Gang’s grandmother had lived, I truly believe Ah Jin would’ve changed. She would’ve stayed with In Gang and her newly-found family. Unfortunately, tragedy strikes and the grandmother dies. She faints and falls down the stairs. Everyone doubts Ah Jin and thinks that she’s pushed her. In reality, she tried to catch her, but arrived too late. In Gang’s grandmother was Ah Jin’s final chance to redeem herself. But her passing brings her back onto the wrong path.

Le Na, the jealous rival: Le Na (Lee Yul Eum) is the main top star when Ah Jin starts her acting career. She’s also Heo In Gang’s ex-girlfriend, but wants to get back with him. Le Na doesn’t like Ah Jin’s rising popularity, as she feels she’s stealing her spotlight. On top of that, she uncovers her real face quite fast and can’t understand how everyone gets played that easily. Many times, Le Na confronts Ah Jin and tries to expose her real nature, but her methods are clumsy. She bullies her which gives Ah Jin a chance to victimize herself and bring Le Na down from her pedestal. When a video of Le Na slapping Ah Jin gets viral, her career ends. Despite all that, Le Na is a bit more clever than Sung Hee. She remains close to Ah Jin and tries to destroy her using Jun Seo. However, she also learns from her mistakes and decides not to get into open war against her. She even falls for Yoon Jun Seo and leaves to start on a clean slate at the end. She frees herself from Ah Jin’s toxic influence.

The religious theme: Religion is present throughout the entire drama. It’s either referred to directly – like when Jun Seo says that Baek Ah Jin made a bet with God on the day of her father’s murder – or indirectly – Baek Ah Jin plays a nun in a fictitious movie named ‘Make No Amends’. In general, I think the drama displays her fight against fate and on a broader scale against God. Baek Ah Jin has been put through a series of trials on Earth. But instead of becoming better, she turned more cruel and evil. She continuously used others to rise to the top. I guess God took pity on her and thus let her get away with her father’s murder. However, she made no amends, showed no remorse and grew greedier. Religious figures like the guardian angel, the devil, the savior are embodied by the men around her (Jun Seo, Do Hyuk and Jae Oh). Ah Jin was also given a chance to repent with Heo In Gang, but she was punished by a twist of fate when his grandmother died. It’s as if God had given her a taste of happiness, before punishing her for her bad deeds. Even the ending is tainted with religious connotations. Following her car accident with Jun Seo, she’s miraculously survives. Standing at the top of an hill, she’s now free from the last shackle of her past. Though it seems like a reward, I have a different interpretation of the final scene. To me, Ah Jin deserves ‘divine’ punishment. Since men aren’t able to stop her, God had to step in by forcing her to stay alive. Earth is Hell for Ah Jin, and Hell is other people. She’s lost everything she’s worked for (career, marriage, reputation). She’s got nothing left, but still breathes. By doing so, I believe that God gave her a final chance to redeem herself. And she’ll go through the same pains, as long as she doesn’t let go of her greed.

Message of the drama: The plot is quite compelling but I struggled to understand the main objective of the show. We witness Ah Jin’s rise to the top and downfall, but what for? Is the goal to punish her greed or to finally set her free? Do we want to show her as a resilient and tenacious woman, or as a devil in disguise? Even the ending is confusing because it leaves us with many unanswered questions. How come she survived? Is it a punishment or not? What will she do now? What about Moon Do Hyuk, is she completely free of him? Can she be stopped and redeem herself? Will Ah Jin ever find stability and rest? These are all of the doors the drama opens without really closing them at the end.

Acting performance: Kim Yoo Jung deserves all the awards in the world for delivering such a breathtaking acting performance! She was incredible, displayed a very large spectrum of emotions and portrayed her character with so much intensity. I understand why she fainted twice on set; this drama is a roller coaster of emotions.